A Few Important Reminders for Expectant/New Moms

It's always interesting going to Bump Club's Expectant Mom Dinner Series now that I myself am a mom. I see things from a totally different perspective now that I have a little one at home. But at the same time, without fail, I learn something new every time.

Our dinner this month was all about adapting to the emotional changes that come along with having a baby---the transition to becoming a parent, your relationship with your significant other, and most important, understanding the signs and differences between the baby blues and post-partum depression. The topic of this dinner was a little "heavier" than most, but something that is incredibly important, and rarely talked about.

A few things that I wanted to share and reiterate to expectant moms/brand new moms are:

1) Take care of yourself. This may seem like common sense, or maybe it seems purely insane now that you are also responsible for someone else. But if you are not taking care of yourself it is hard to take care of your baby. Dr. Sorkin talked a lot about trying to make sure you are sleeping (as much as possible), eating, and exercising. This was a good reminder as I think it's easy to forget sometimes when you have a newborn. No one expects you to be super woman---you just had a baby and certainly can't do it all!

I remember back to when Baby J was first born. Although it was only 9 months ago, I was in a completely different place. Things are hectic when you first come home from the hospital. You get into a what seems like endless routine of feeding, changing and sleeping (the baby, not you.) It's easy to forget to grab something for breakfast or a snack. Make sure you are keeping easy to eat food in your house so you can grab it and go.

When it comes to exercise---you can't do it until your doc tells you to, but if you can squeeze in a walk with or without your baby, it is great to get out of the house.

And in terms of sleep---we all know that new moms are a tired bunch. But try to nap when you can. It's easy to get used to doing things for yourself (showering?) or your house (the dishes?) while the baby sleeps. Keep in mind that a little cat nap here and there goes a long way. You also can get creative. Let your significant other bond with the baby after they get home from work, and go lay down for a few minutes to give yourself a rest.

2) Make time for your partner/significant other. It is going to seem in the beginning that you may never go out to dinner just the two of you again, but I promise, YOU WILL! Make sure that you are taking the time to do nice things for each other. They don't have to be over the top, just little gestures like asking how your day was, etc. This is especially true when either one of you goes back to work and is coming home for the first time---you or your significant other may feel like they missed out on something with the baby that day.

Also, take advantage of any help you can get from grandparents, siblings, aunts uncles, or friends. The baby is going to sleep a lot in the beginning. If the baby falls asleep and you have someone over at your house, ask them if they mind hanging out while you and your significant other walk to Starbucks, or go grab a an ice cream cone on the corner.

3) Try to get out of the house/Talk to other new moms. If you don't have access to mom events or groups like Bump Club and Beyond, try to find some new mom events or classes in your town. I started taking Baby J to "playgroup" when she was 3 weeks old. Trust me, playgroup wasn't for her---she slept the whole time. It was for me to get out, have something to do, and be around other new moms. We shared stories, strategies, and helped each other out with our babies while we ate lunch.

I also started taking a music class with J when she was 8 weeks old. I used to joke that this was my most expensive nap (she often slept through the whole thing.) But again, the class helped me to meet other moms and eventually J started waking up and truly LOVED the music. Once she was able to recognize it, she even smiled at certain songs.

4) Take people up on their offers to help. It's ok, I promise. Anyone loves to hold a baby. If they are offering, take them up on it. No one expects you to go at this alone. As Janeen Hayward said at our dinner, it really does take a village.

I formed Bump Club and Beyond when I was pregnant and looking to connect with other moms and moms-to-be. Part of why we are here is to offer support and resources while you are pregnant. Please make sure to ask us if you need anything and look on our website for further resources. If we are forgetting anything, or you need something specific, let us know and we will find it :)

I recently have felt like I find myself saying a lot: It's get's easier, I promise. And it does. Being a new mom is hard work. No one said it was easy. No one expects you to have all the answers. And no one expects you to be superwoman. Use the resources available to you, and if you need help, or advice, don't be afraid to ask for it. The first little bit goes by so fast, my best advice to you would be to try to enjoy it. While you are in it, it seems like forever, it can be hard. But six months down the road you are going to look back and won't believe how fast the time has gone.