Looking back on the first few weeks...

For those of you who were able to attend our first Expectant Mom Dinner of 2011 with our Resident Lactation Expert, Kathy Lipke, RN, BSN, IBCLC, I am sure you can attest how reassuring she is about the whole birthing/bringing your baby home/breastfeeding experience.

The first time I heard Kathy speak was last June, when I myself was five months pregnant. Part of the reason I love Kathy so much is her willingness to support new moms in what they hope to achieve, and not judge them for what she believes is right or wrong. This is why I have chosen her as our expert when it comes to lactation and why I share her with you. What I found interesting listening to Kathy again last week, having now had my baby, was really how much truth there is to the perspective she shares with us at our dinners and seminars she attends. I couldn't believe how many times I smiled to myself during her talk, or nodded my head in agreement. For those of you who were not able to attend (and for even those who were there), I wanted to share with you some of Kathy's key mantras and how they have worked for me throughout the birthing/bringing baby home/breastfeeding process.

1. BE FLEXIBLE: This is a key point that Kathy always stresses and I could not agree with more. Flexibility is key to your sanity throughout this process. You can certainly choose and think you know the way that you want things to go, but in reality, they may or may not work out that way---and that's alright. Many of you remember me being five days late with Baby J--trust me when I say, that certainly was not planned :)

During Kathy's talk she discussed trying to bring your baby to breast or at least skin to skin when he or she arrives. But take it from one who knows---that can't always happen, and I promise, if it doesn't, it will be ok.

When Baby J was born she had ingested meconium (basically her poop) during the birthing process. When the doctors realized this would be the case after asking me about my water breaking (from its color), they prepared me for what would happen when J arrived. When she came out, she didn't move nor did she cry. Had I not been made aware of the situation prior, I would have been very scared. My labor and delivery room went from having four medical professionals to forty in less than sixty seconds in order to handle the situation.

With J on the Giraffe Infant warmer across the room from me, it seemed like an eternity before she actually cried. When she did finally cry, the head of the pediatric team came over to me and cautiously asked me what I wanted to do about feeding her. Since I had gestational diabetes, J needed to be fed almost immediately. I knew that I was going to try to breastfeed, however at the moment I was a little tied up with my own doctors to be able to do so. I told the team to do whatever was best for the baby---and at that time, she needed to be fed. It would be a good 30-45 minutes before I was able to feed her, so my husband gave her her first meal--a bottle of formula. When I finally did get to go skin to skin with her, it was the most amazing moment of my life. And then, a few hours later, I breastfed her and have successfully been giving her breastmilk (both from nursing and pumping) and formula from a bottle, since the moment she came out.

It may not be for everyone, but for me, it works well that way.

The point of me sharing this information is that when J was born, I was in a situation that demanded flexibility. Not only could I not breastfeed her at the time, but I couldn't go skin to skin either. Things may not have ideally happened the way I wanted them to, but I made sure to make the choices necessary to eventually turn them around and get them to where I wanted them to be. Some things are out of your control, which is why flexibility is key.

2. IT'S OK TO ASK FOR HELP: No one ever said that you had to do this on you own. If you are lucky enough to have family close by, take them up on their offers to come help out with the baby, the dog, the house, whatever. One of the things that Kathy says which I always laugh at is that no one can come over without making you a meal or putting in a load of laundry. She means it when she warns to limit your visitors. It's innate for most of us to play host when people come over, and it is not necessarily the best thing to do as you try to recover.

When your baby arrives, you are tired. Your labor and delivery were probably exhausting, and now that you are home, it's likely you are not getting much sleep. Don't worry about cleaning your house, or offering your guests food and drinks when they stop by. Go about doing what you need to do for you and your baby---let your guests help you in any way that they offer, and don't hesitate to ask.

When Baby J was less than two weeks old, my husband had to go on a business trip. So I called in the reinforcements: I asked my mom to come in from Detroit to help me with the baby. There was no way I could do it on my own, and I would never admit to thinking, or even trying to think that I could. Any help is greatly appreciated and you will be glad when and if you ask for it.

3. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU: When it's all said and done, no one can tell you how or what to do when it comes to you and your baby. Everyone does things different and only you know what will work best in your situation. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

As you all know by now, I abide by almost all of Kathy's mantras and suggestions. However I too have done some things my own way throughout the course of Baby J's three months. One example: I sent her to the nursery both nights I was in the hospital.

I only slept for a couple hours the night before my water broke. So basically after J arrived, I had been up for almost two straight days. I was exhausted. After I got to my room, and breastfed her, I myself ate a chicken sandwich from the Prentice cafeteria at 1am and nearly passed out asleep while eating it. My OBGYN said it was ok: send her to the nursery.

While I know it is not the choice for everyone---and even Kathy suggests to have the baby in your room---for me, it was the best thing I did. I fell into what was probably the deepest sleep I had experienced in over nine months. A coma-like state...lasting almost seven hours...the longest I had gone without having to pee in a very long time.

And guess what? I did it again the second night, and it felt great.

One nurse claimed "not to be judging me" (she actually said that), but that sending J to the nursery would inhibit my ability to breastfeed her. Thankfully my OBGYN, who I adore, gave me a talking to about that one. They gave J formula in the nursery at night (because I was ok with that), but I nursed her during the day. For me, after sending J to the nursery, and sleeping for 6-7 hours two nights in a row, I felt rested. I know my body and I need sleep or I get crazy. I truly believe that the choice I made helped me to recover faster---and put me in a better place for when I came home and REALLY wasn't able to get any sleep.

The long story short: you can have a plan, and you can think things will go a certain way---but the best plan to have is one that is flexible. Things happen, they change, and you may have to adjust how you do things.

I share this with you so that you know there is no "right" or "only" way to do things. The things that experts like Kathy share---they are suggestions.

Good ones---I can promise you that. But know that even I don't follow all of them.

Ultimately, you know what's best.

Follow your gut.

When needed---call in the reinforcements. Whether it be a lactation consultant to help get your breastfeeding underway; a walker to walk your dog; or your mom to hold the crying baby so you can shower, run to Starbucks, or if you're lucky---get a manicure.

This journey is an amazing one, and one that as Kathy says, will have some "bumps" along the way. Just keep that in mind as you navigate your first few weeks at home. For some of you, it may be tough at first. For others, it may be easier. I can promise you one thing---it's crazy the one day when you wake up and things just truly click.

More on that soon...but for now, I have a sleeping baby, so it's time to close my eyes too. Good night :)

Well worth the wait...My Labor & Delivery Story

The last time you all heard from me here was on my due date, October 7, 2010.

I spent the following weekend doing exactly what I had talked about in my blog: staying busy, sleeping, and enjoying my last bit of time alone before the baby came. We were aiming for a 10-10-10 baby, but there was no movement all weekend that alluded to our bundle of joy arriving anytime soon. When my sister-in-law went into labor five days early on 10-10-10, I was convinced that I would probably be waiting for my induction date the following Thursday.

I made all of the preparations necessary: Monday was my last official day of work, I made my manicure and pedicure appointment for Tuesday, and lunch plans for Wednesday. I filled my last two "free days" with errands and appointments and figured I would finish getting ready for the baby. When I saw the doctor at 5 pm on Monday evening, he told me I was not dilated and gave me all of the instructions for my 12:30 pm induction that Thursday.

Little did I know that at 4am the next morning I would wake up feeling funny. I thought my water had broke, but my pajamas were only a bit wet, not soaked, and there was no "gush." I changed, figured it was nothing and tried to go back to bed. An hour later I woke up again feeling like more fluids had come out of me, but again no big gush. At this time, I couldn't go back to sleep. Before I knew it, I felt like I was having some cramping---it almost felt like I was starting my period. I began to pay attention to the slight cramps and realized they were about 9-13 minutes a part. For nine months I was concerned about not knowing when it was "time." All I will say is that there is no mistaking when the time comes. The labor contractions feel VERY different than Braxton-Hicks; when it is time to start paying attention, you will know.

My husband got up around 5:45 to get ready to go downtown for his 7am dentist appointment. Just before 6am I told him he shouldn't go. While he was insisting to me that he could go downtown and come home after if I needed him to, I felt a huge gush---my water broke! (Thankfully at this point I was sitting on a pillow so it didn't get all over my bed.) I ran into the bathroom and it ran down my leg and didn't stop.

I WAS OFFICIALLY IN LABOR!

The first thing I did was call my doctor. I was laughing so hard through my tears of joy that the receptionist started laughing too. Within a few minutes my doctor called me back, told me to shower, get my stuff together, and most important, make sure I ate something. (Don't forget, once you get to the hospital, you can't eat---so it's imperative that you eat something before you go to the hospital as it may be awhile until you can eat again.) I got dressed, grabbed my last few things, kissed our dog and headed to the hospital. Since I wasn't having regular contractions yet, we stopped at NYC Bagel to get my breakfast and grabbed Starbucks. It was a bit surreal standing in line ordering my half-caf mocha knowing that I was in labor. Thinking about it makes me laugh at how ridiculous the Starbucks scenario actually was.

We got to the hospital just after 7am. Everyone in triage was incredibly helpful and calm, which in turn made us feel calm too. Ironically, when my water broke I was doing something on the computer for Bump Club, so I took out my laptop while we were waiting so I could finish. Before I knew it, they were calling my name. We were led back into a private room where I changed into a gown and they started to ask me a whole plethora of questions about my medical history, my water breaking, etc. The room was very comfortable and private with a big screen TV---so we watched the Today Show. After they ran a test to confirm my water actually did break, I was admitted. They started an IV line for later and Kat my triage nurse (who was awesome) gave me the advice to try to wait a bit for my epidural since I barely was contracting at all at this point.

Within about 45 minutes I was wheeled up through the private elevators we all saw on the Prentice Hospital tour and taken into my labor and delivery room. It was here that my husband and I relaxed for most of the day. The first thing they did was give me drugs in my IV line to get my contractions going. A short time after, I started to have more regular contractions. They could not check to see how dilated I was since my water had broken. Due to the risk of infection they like to limit the internal exams they do if this is the case.

The contractions were manageable, I breathed through them and felt alright. Mainly I was just hungry. The doctor allowed me to have some apple juice, and a little later a Popsicle. At around 1pm my contractions started to become more regular and were airing on the side of painful. By the time my parents arrived from Michigan at 2pm, I was incredibly uncomfortable. My nurse, Nikki, told me that I had to wait until my contractions were closer together and more regular before I could get an epidural. When I couldn't take it anymore I simply said, "Nikki, this pain is not in the plan. I don't want to get into different positions to help me through it, I can't walk around anymore, GIVE ME THE DRUGS." Within three minutes, she came back and said ok and the anesthesiologist came in to start the epidural at 3pm.

Many people have asked if the spinal hurt. I will say that whoever did my epidural deserves a HUGE prize. At this point, the contractions were so bad that I barely even felt the spinal. Once I had the epidural in my system it was like having two delicious glasses of wine. An aura of calm fell over me and I felt amazing. I couldn't feel my lower half, but I also didn't feel any contractions either. At one point I asked if I was even having any. Being that I am a huge baby with pain, the epidural change my entire day. Once I had it and felt better, I spent the next few hours on my computer, talking on the phone, and napping. My only complaint was that I was starving.

I am VERY fortunate in that my own doctor was on call at the hospital that week---probably one of very few things that made me happy to deliver after my due date. At 6:30 pm she came in. I was SO excited to see her and even more so that she was going to be delivering my daughter. My doctor asked me when she came in how dilated I was; since no one checked me, I didn't know. The nurses and the previous doctor told me all day that it was going to be awhile. I was pushing to have the baby arrive after midnight so that I could have an extra day in the hospital (you get two nights for a vaginal birth; 3 nights for a c-section at Prentice). Everyone was in near shock when my doctor checked me and announced, "You are fully dilated; 10 cm PLUS one. It's time to start pushing."

Since I was comfortable and unable to feel anything, my doctor did her rounds and let the contractions continue to push the baby down. She came back around 8:30 and announced that it was go-time. Both my doctor and labor nurse, Mary-Kate, told me how to push and what they wanted me to do. My husband and the med student, also named Daniel, were going to help by holding my legs and counting. With the four of them in place I started the process of pushing. My epidural was still in full effect and I barely was able to feel anything. I was convinced that the pushing was not doing anything. The medical professionals all informed me otherwise.

I realize now how lucky I was with my delivery experience. Everyone will have a different and unique labor and delivery in and of itself. My best advice is simply to listen to your doctor and the labor and delivery nurse. They will coach you through everything and make sure that you are doing it right. My doctor spent a lot of time in the room helping out; she was incredibly attentive and I felt completely taken care of. The environment was relaxed, quiet and when it was time to push they told me to push. The TV was on in the background with no sound. After the commercials of food I was drooling for, and seeing "The Situation" get voted off of 'Dancing with the Stars,' the baby was almost out. I pushed in total for about an hour and a half. Right before the "last push," my doctor gave some final instructions, everyone got suited up and I gave my final push.

Our baby girl was here.

Due to the color of my water when it broke, the doctors informed me beforehand that my baby likely had swallowed some meconium. My doctor and labor nurse, Mary Kate (who was AMAZING), told me exactly what was going to happen when she came out. They prepared me by informing me that a team of pediatricians were going to take her immediately and suck the meconium out. Right before my final push, the number of people in the room increased from about four to forty. When she came out, she was pretty limp and not crying. Apparently this is a normal situation, however as the new mom, it was a bit scary. Immediately they took her to the giraffe warming station and within about 3-5 minutes (which seemed like an hour), I heard my baby cry for the first time.

During this time my doctor was amazing and made sure that I was being informed of what was going on; she was continually telling me that everything was normal and my baby was ok. At the same time, my doctor and Daniel, the med student, started to deliver my placenta. For me, this was more painful than delivering my daughter. Apparently my placenta was high up and it took about 20-30 minutes of the two of them pushing on my stomach to get it out. My doctor later told me that my placenta was one of the hardest she had ever delivered.

Since I had Gestational Diabetes, our baby had to eat right away. I was being stitched up for awhile and couldn't nurse her right away, so my husband fed her a bottle. Once she was cleaned up and fed, and I was all fixed up, it was time for me to see our little girl. We still hadn't announced her name as I wanted to tell her before telling anyone else.

When they FINALLY set her on my chest, I was able to say hi to my beautiful 6 lb, 9 oz daughter, Jordyn Claire. The feeling at the time simply can't be described. I tear up thinking about what I felt at that moment, with her lying on my chest looking up at me. It was hard to believe even then that I carried her around for nine months, and there she was lying on my chest staring at me.

It is in that moment that nothing else matters. You forget about the baby being early or late. You forget about any morning sickness or body aches and pains from pregnancy. You forget about any pain you felt during the labor and delivery. In the end, when you are looking at that that little person staring back at you, you realize that everything you went through to get there was more than worth it.

Stay tuned as I plan to share more information about my experience including tips for the hospital, what to bring and more. I know a lot of you have asked, and I promise that I plan on sharing! As always, if you have any questions or suggestions, please feel free to shoot me an email: lindsay@bumpclubchicago.com

Still waiting---and that's just fine....

Today is my due date---October 7, 2010. The baby is not here, and she is showing no signs of arriving anytime soon (at least I don't think she is), but in all honesty---that is ok---I know she will be here soon.

Remember, your due date is an estimate, a pure guess, it's not a science. I promise you that if you subscribe to this notion, you will feel much better (and less disappointed) if your baby is not on-time or even early. I had lunch with a friend today and she told me that I seemed unbelievably calm. I responded to her with a secret that I am going to share with you---especially as many of you are waiting for your own little ones to arrive. I recently have heard so many women venting their frustrations that their babies were not here---and many of them were not even due yet! There is nothing you can do to speed it up or make it happen. I know that my baby will arrive when she is ready, whether on her own or next Thursday if they have to induce me. I came to terms with the fact that she may not be here early a couple weeks ago and have been taking advantage of the time I have left to and with myself.

I will be honest---it's very comforting to know that they will induce me a week after my due date if she is not here by then. In the meantime, I have found that there is no use in making myself crazy, getting worked up, or even spending a millisecond worrying about when she is going to decide to arrive---it is out of my control. While I may be big, and things can get a little uncomfortable, I overall feel great, which I think too is something that starts with a positive attitude and putting myself in a stress-free environment. My weekly e-newsletter from FitPregnancy served the BEST advice this week:

Don’t be surprised if you get discouraged now. Relatives may be calling regularly to find out if labor has started. Ignore them and make plans every day - see a movie, take a walk, read or simply lounge around at home. Relish this peaceful time while it lasts!

While I am not a religious person, I almost felt like this was a sign from someone above. This is EXACTLY what I have been doing and now that my actions have been validated I feel much better about it. (So if you don't hear back from me, now you know why :)) My advice to you if you are waiting, follow these two sentences and STAY BUSY.

I am still working, which many people are shocked about when I tell them. But what am I supposed to do? Sit and home and watch Kathie Lee & Hoda, Oprah, Bonnie and Ellen all day while I wait for Baby Girl Pinchuk to arrive? I'd rather poke my eyes out. While it is a bit physically taxing to go into the Loop every day, it's nice to go into an office, interact with people, and stay busy to keep my mind off of "the wait." I make plans for lunch with friends and colleagues, which is much better than making a sandwich and eating alone on my couch. Tonight I went to a benefit for a committee I have been a part of for years. I didn't think I would make it this year, so it was a nice surprise to be able to go and hang out with all of my friends. We even have dinner reservations and plans for this weekend. If we have to cancel them because we are at Prentice, oh well! :)

I had originally assumed that the baby would be here by now. But because my baby is not here yet, I all of a sudden have found time---something that I have not had in ages. I am relishing in it, utilizing it, and taking advantage of these last few quiet moments I have left. Last night I went to bed before 1am for the first time in probably six months!

SO the moral of the story---the wait is only as bad or "torturous" as you make it. Don't let everyone and anyone make you crazy. Instead, stay positive and ENJOY the time you have left. I promise that it will make things that much better once your baby decides to poke his/her head out!

You don't have to miss out on the best season for fashion--FALL!

Fall is my FAVORITE season for fashion. This year, being currently nine-and-a-half months pregnant, I am going to basically miss out on an entire fall fashion season. Right now I am so big I cannot even get my feet into real shoes, let alone think about putting my favorite boots on over jeans, leggings, or a pair of jeggings. I am HOPING that once the baby is here, I will be able to catch the tail end of the fall season. By then, everything will be on sale, right?

I was shocked today as I walked through Old Navy today at the MANY great options that I can purchase once the baby comes, to help me through the transition of pregnancy back to normalcy. I was shocked by how cute these sweaters were---and currently they are on sale for $20! I felt compelled to pass them along as many of them can also be worn during pregnancy---and they had a couple cute ones in maternity as well!

Woman's Button Front Cable Knit Cape

This sweater is perfect for after I have the baby. It comes in four colors and would be great with either leggings or jeans. It's big enough to hide any leftover baby weight, but cute enough that it won't look frumpy.

Women's Swing Coat Sweaters

I loved this sweater because again, great for jeans or leggings, this is one that you can wear while pregnant and just open up the buttons---and then enjoy it after once you have the baby. It also comes in four colors.

Not online, they also had some great sweater ponchos that would serve as GREAT coats right now if you are in your last trimester. They go right over your head and would fit over your belly while at the same time keeping you warm until your baby arrives!

If you're looking for maternity, I also saw the following two sweaters that I thought were SO CUTE.

Maternity Swing Sweater Coat

Maternity Cable Knit Tunics

Normally I would never write a whole entry on one store. However, Old Navy has such great options that won't break the bank, AND can get you through the fall and even into the winter---I had to share these finds---especially if any of you are like me when it comes to LOVING fall fashion! Right now online there is also a 20% off anything buy with free shipping over $75. Use the code ONSAVE20. Happy Shopping!

The Waiting Game

It's September 26, 2010 and I have eleven days until my due date. I am walking around feeling like a ticking time bomb. It's now more possible than ever for my water to break and I can into labor at any second. It doesn't help that everyone keeps saying "any day now." Because literally, it could be at any moment. What if I am in the grocery store, walking in the loop during lunch hour, or in the suburbs at Buy Buy Baby (this option may be best)? The anxiety of the wait is almost as bad as that of the anticipation of my impending delivery.

I am trying my hardest to keep busy and keep my mind off what is to come. While I definitely have been doing some of your typical "nesting" tasks, such as preparing the baby's room, washing her clothes and cleaning out random areas of my house, I also am trying to take advantage of these last baby free days.

I spent the last two Saturdays hanging out with some of my closest friends. We had brunch, got manicures and pedicures and just caught up on everything, both having to do with the baby and otherwise---mainly the "otherwise." My husband and I went out to dinner just the two of us on Saturday night. I passed some time this Sunday pampering myself with an AMAZING pre-natal massage at Soulistic Studio and Spa. My therapist, Kara, was amazing. She took a lot of stress out of my back and worked endlessly on my tight hips. I highly suggest checking this place out! (BCC VIPs, you get a discount here!)

Regardless of WHEN the baby decides to come, I know that her timing is well out of my hands. For now, I am concentrating on ME, with no apologies. I am making sure I am ready both mentally and physically, and am trying to get as much rest as I possibly can. I know that life is about to change---only for the better. While the waiting has me anxiety ridden, it also has me filled to the brim with an excitement like no other. My best advice to all of you who are also waiting---stay busy, do what you can, and know that you can always ask for help doing the rest of your baby decides to show up early!

Baby’s First Wheels!

Advice from Real Bump Club Chicago Moms-to-Be

By guest blogger: Andrea Winitsky Rubin

When my husband and I decided to trade in our trusty ’99 Saab for something a bit more “baby friendly” it took us only a day to decide on the perfect mom-mobile SUV. Therefore, I figured picking out a stroller for our daughter-to-be (due 11/1) would be easy peasy. Not quite!

We began our stroller adventures at the highly recommended Galt Toys + Galt Baby, where we stood shell-shocked until a helpful sales associate, Sam, rescued us. We filled Sam in about some important deets about our lifestyle:

• We enjoy long strolls with our pup during the few warm months in Chicago
• We occasionally jump in the car for errands and may even start going to the grocery store once we have a kid
• We want a stylish stroller (Ok, that request was from me, not my husband)

I left Galt knowing more about strollers than I do about restaurants in Chicago (a topic I’m very well informed on) and was pretty sure we were going to end up with the Bugaboo Cameleon, one of the priciest of the bunch, but it seemed to meet our needs.

Before making the $1000 Bugaboo splurge we decided to do a bit more research and continued to check out strollers at Lazar’s Juvenile Furniture and Land of Nod. The Bugaboo Cameleon was still looking pretty good, although we questioned if the Baby Jogger City Select would be better since it easily converts into a double. I’m still getting used to the idea of 1 kid, but may decide to pop out another one in a few years. And the Jetson-Like Orbit looked pretty cool, although we didn’t love the idea that it’s compatible with only their car seat.

My husband, who surprisingly is as excited about stroller shopping as he is about new TVs, discovered the website Baby Gizmo where he watched stroller video reviews for days. Based on his video research he decided what we really needed was a cool European stroller like the Mutsy 4rider or the iCandy Apple. I even asked one of my European colleagues to keep an eye out for them on the streets of London.

We took one last trip to the new Lincoln Park location of Galt Baby, to check out my husband’s beloved Mutsy and iCandy strollers. We were informed that they haven’t sold the Mutsy in over a year due to poor sales and they’d even give us a discount on the iCandy since they were trying to get rid of them. The sales rep told us what we really needed was the Bugaboo Bee, which we had been previously told did not fit our needs. Aaahhh- I certainly hope deciding on kindergarten is easier!

After a day of quizzing people on the streets about their strollers (yep, we’ve become THOSE people) and putting our friends to sleep with stroller talk over dinner we walked into a Bump Club registry event at Giggle. It was here we discovered the UPPAbaby Vista:

• Sleek style
• Somewhat easy to collapse (folds with the seat on it)
• Large storage basket
• Less expensive than the Bugaboo Cameleon

One drawback to the UPPAbaby is that it’s a bit heavy so we’re going to purchase the Baby Jogger City Mini as a second traveling stroller. New moms tell me the Graco SnugRider is another must. My husband and I may need only 1 car to get around Chicago, but I have a feeling our daughter mayhave 5 strollers by the time her 1^st bday rolls around.